He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
