i just wanna soil my oats bro
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
