I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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