i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
