my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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