dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
