that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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