I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
