...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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