Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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