he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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