she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
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It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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