Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think I won the penis lottery.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
