I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
