Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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