She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
