it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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