I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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