the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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