And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize