shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
