did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize