so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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