Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
