had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
