Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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