well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
