taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
