I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
