I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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