On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
