He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize