I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize