I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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