I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize