if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
someone owes me an orgasm
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
