After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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