If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
