So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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