All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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