Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
