if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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