Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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