So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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