are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
