I got chris browned last night
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Everyone says I win the strip club
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
