I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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