Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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