Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Small penises have feelings too.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
