And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
