Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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