At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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