also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
