pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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