there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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