I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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