I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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