I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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